[The note isn't in his handwriting. It's pretty obvious what it is, though - the secrets motive from a week ago. The one he's laughed at, before reading his note. The note lists three secrets.
1. Arthur and his guild worked to enable the use of a weapon that will obliterate Etria and the surrounding area completely. 2. Arthur and his guild murdered Visil, beloved chieftain of the Radha and leader of Etria. 3. Arthur and his guild committed genocide by slaughtering the Forest Folk.]
[There are things that need to be dealt with before Emma can pull Arthur aside; primarily, Jun's call for a meeting. After that, Emma takes a bit to read over the note Arthur handed her at the motive, letting it sink in and thinking over what she wants to say.
When she's pulled herself together, she finds him, then beckons him to follow her down to the music room. Why there? Because who the hell uses the music room these days that isn't just looking for paper? It seems safe enough, and it's not like they won't hear people approaching. Acoustics. Once they're in there, she turns to him and takes a deep breath before speaking, just to steady herself.]
The things on that note... I've been wondering.
Did you know that's what you were doing at the time?
[It seems hard to believe someone who was so panicked about whether or not Etria was okay would be on board with building a weapon to decimate it. It's hard to believe someone worried about the fate of the world would willingly slaughter an entire race without reason.]
...It certainly doesn't sound like you were giddy about making it happen, though.
[She sighs, crossing her arms more out of a need to comfort herself than anything.]
Listen... I know right now, I'm just a stranger [ha] to you, same as anyone else here. So perhaps I have no place to talk, but... it's hard to believe you're okay with what's happened. That all of these aren't regrets for you.
That being the case, it's... rather difficult for me to find it in me to hold any of this against you, if that was your goal.
I'm not, and it wasn't... I just don't know if what you were saying earlier, about me and Simon being able to live with something like - like this motive - applies.
[He is very, very lost without Simon. Maybe he's been relying on the medic too much, all this time, but....he's never known anything else.]
If you're wrong, and time is moving where we came from, then it's too late and Etria and everything around it is gone. If you're right, but we lose that fight, then...
And-- someone has to make it out. Someone who knows. Or it'll happen again.
[Arthur knows right from wrong. Which is why grappling with this is just like everything on that note. What's the right path? What is justice, anyway?
He misses when his biggest problems were tricky math and falling asleep while reading.]
...I do understand that. My family... everything I've ever been raised to believe is that the ends justify the means. If I were in your situation... I'd be struggling, too.
I admit, my situation isn't quite so dire... not yet, anyway. I don't know where it'll lead. But, just so we're on an even playing field, here...
[She holds out a scrap of paper – her own note from last week's motive.]
[1. Emma is a novice witch from the Hexen clan, tasked with guiding Rean Schwarzer to awaken Valimar, the Ashen Knight.
2. Emma lied to her "friends" about her background for months, willingly led them into danger, and did nothing when her familiar dragged an innocent into harm's way in pursuit of the goal.
3. Emma put off telling Rean what it was they found under the old schoolhouse, denying him time to prepare. As a result, Rean lost his first battle piloting Valimar, perhaps fatally.]
I understand, wanting to keep someone safe. More than anything else... I want to know that Rean's okay. I want to be able to say I'm sorry, at least, for everything that's happened.
And then there's the matter of my duty. We need him to pilot Valimar. We need him to work with us to avert an even greater crisis than what we already face. If I've failed him... I don't know what will become of my world.
[Her voice is shaking as she talks. It's the first time she's actually been up front with all of this to anyone but Celine, and, well... Celine's been the one driving her the whole time.]
If it were just up to me? I'd take that chance in a heartbeat. But I know if I put that blood on Rean's hands... he might keep forcing himself forward for the world's sake, but he'd never be Rean again.
And if I think about it the other way... "would I let him do that for me?"
...I know my answer is no. Not in a million years, not even for the world. I... I care too much about him to let him go through with it. And with the way he is for all of us... even if I'm a rotten liar, I know it'd go both ways.
If that isn't true for you and Simon, then I suppose that isn't true and that's all there is to that. Even so...
[Ah... It's a lot to take in. There are several things he doesn't understand, things specific to Emma's world, but the core of it is the same. Rean sounds like a good person, sounds kind of like the Highlander.
Arthur drops himself so he's sitting on the floor. If only all his reasons we're selfless...]
I just.... I owe Simon everything. Wh-What if I go back, and there's just a crater? And fire, and-- and people smell awful when they burn. I don't wanna be alone!
[He doesn't remember the last time he was this close to crying.]
I don't....know what I'd do without him. He's all I've ever had, and-
[You're not alone.
He wonders if this is how Frederica felt, every time the guild insisted on supporting her. He doesn't know. She was always do distant, and now she's...
...he won't take the same path. Which means believing in everyone here. If he really isn't alone, if this group is going to sorta-kinda be his new guild, then he'll accept that.]
....if Gungnir fires, if Etria is destroyed, it won't be the first time. It won't be the last, either. It isn't the only Gungnir.
If the absolute worst comes... you'll find a way forward. I believe in you.
[And for now, he has her, at least. For as much help as this novice waterboarder of a witch may be.
...Ah, he's continuing, though. She bites at her lip. It's... really not far from what she knows herself, is it? Fudge the details a little, and it's the Great Collapse. A repeating cycle, all the same.]
...And I believe in your world, too. In your Etria. Even if you can't, I'm going to hold out hope for you.
[He's talking less like he's in distress, now, and more like he's confiding. At this point it feels like....even if they can't stop anything, and all of them get wiped out, he can count on Emma to at least send a message to the Library. Maybe stop the other Gungnir units.]
I don't have any family, you know? Just Simon. ...I, uh, don't remember anything past ten years ago. Simon says those memories are probably gone for good.
[She's thankful for that, at least, and shifts to make herself comfortable while sitting so she can hear him out.]
Some kind of traumatic event?
Mm... I understand that, too, though. I lost my parents early, so Grandmother took me in. She raised me alongside her student, Vita, and Celine, who became my familiar.
Then Vita did something the clan deemed unforgivable, and she left. And then I was sent to Thors with Celine to guide Rean... and now, Celine is gone too.
[She smiles a little, sadly. She's confiding, too.]
So, really... I don't know what to do on my own, either, you know? I'm just... fumbling, repeating what I know from home. Hoping something will stick, and I can be useful somehow.
The very first thing I can remember is fire. The second is Simon saving me.
An unprecedented and unexplained disaster utterly leveled a mining town called Gotham at the foot of Yggdrasil overnight. The two of us were the only survivors. Rumor has it, the pit where that Yggdrasil's Labyrinth was is still burning, and no plants grow for miles and miles around it.
[He doesn't talk about his history a whole lot - it's not that he's hiding it or that it particularly bothers him, he's moved on for the most part. But now it's relevant.]
We made our way to the Midgard Library after that. Grew up and studied there, and became investigators... Simon and me were always together.
It's been pretty hard, without him. Usually I just follow him around and let him make the decisions.
Goodness... [She covers her mouth lightly at his story, because, well. It's horrifying!] I'm sorry to hear that...
But I am glad you got out, and that you've had one another up until now.
Celine's usually been the decision-maker, between the two of us. She's my familiar, but... she's always taken care of me, rather than the other way around. Without her, now...
It's sad. [She moves her hand over into her hair, twirling a lock of it around her finger nervously.] I could tell you anything I've ever read in a book, I could help you study for any test under the sun... but when it comes to things like this, I feel like I know nothing at all.
[So it's like the Railway Guns, or whatever happened to Garrelia, if not worse...
Emma swallows hard. That just makes the whole thing that much more chilling.]
No wonder you feel even more strongly about it... I'm sorry. I really wish I knew what else to say in times like this...
[Unfortunately, witches aren't highly trained in empathy. Emma's a bit of an outlier, and she's trying, but... oof, man. Yikes.]
Well... she is a black cat, although not every familiar is so cliche. [A little smile. She knows, at least?] But she can speak, and she's got some magic of her own – mostly to bolster mine, although she can act on her own in at least some capacity.
She has a deeper knowledge of the legends behind our duty than even I do, though.
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timeasmymeasure
week 3
Date: 2019-05-07 08:08 pm (UTC)Tuesday, post-motive
Date: 2019-05-07 08:19 pm (UTC)1. Arthur and his guild worked to enable the use of a weapon that will obliterate Etria and the surrounding area completely.
2. Arthur and his guild murdered Visil, beloved chieftain of the Radha and leader of Etria.
3. Arthur and his guild committed genocide by slaughtering the Forest Folk.]
post-meeting
Date: 2019-05-07 09:25 pm (UTC)When she's pulled herself together, she finds him, then beckons him to follow her down to the music room. Why there? Because who the hell uses the music room these days that isn't just looking for paper? It seems safe enough, and it's not like they won't hear people approaching. Acoustics. Once they're in there, she turns to him and takes a deep breath before speaking, just to steady herself.]
The things on that note... I've been wondering.
Did you know that's what you were doing at the time?
[It seems hard to believe someone who was so panicked about whether or not Etria was okay would be on board with building a weapon to decimate it. It's hard to believe someone worried about the fate of the world would willingly slaughter an entire race without reason.]
no subject
Date: 2019-05-07 09:51 pm (UTC)The first one, no. Frederica didn't tell us the full scale of the damage until we'd already activated most of it.
The other two - yeah. We knew what we were doing.
[Dislikes: genocide.]
no subject
Date: 2019-05-07 10:03 pm (UTC)...It certainly doesn't sound like you were giddy about making it happen, though.
[She sighs, crossing her arms more out of a need to comfort herself than anything.]
Listen... I know right now, I'm just a stranger [ha] to you, same as anyone else here. So perhaps I have no place to talk, but... it's hard to believe you're okay with what's happened. That all of these aren't regrets for you.
That being the case, it's... rather difficult for me to find it in me to hold any of this against you, if that was your goal.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-07 10:58 pm (UTC)[He is very, very lost without Simon. Maybe he's been relying on the medic too much, all this time, but....he's never known anything else.]
If you're wrong, and time is moving where we came from, then it's too late and Etria and everything around it is gone. If you're right, but we lose that fight, then...
And-- someone has to make it out. Someone who knows. Or it'll happen again.
[Arthur knows right from wrong. Which is why grappling with this is just like everything on that note. What's the right path? What is justice, anyway?
He misses when his biggest problems were tricky math and falling asleep while reading.]
1/3?
Date: 2019-05-07 11:08 pm (UTC)...I do understand that. My family... everything I've ever been raised to believe is that the ends justify the means. If I were in your situation... I'd be struggling, too.
I admit, my situation isn't quite so dire... not yet, anyway. I don't know where it'll lead. But, just so we're on an even playing field, here...
[She holds out a scrap of paper – her own note from last week's motive.]
2/3
Date: 2019-05-07 11:13 pm (UTC)2. Emma lied to her "friends" about her background for months, willingly led them into danger, and did nothing when her familiar dragged an innocent into harm's way in pursuit of the goal.
3. Emma put off telling Rean what it was they found under the old schoolhouse, denying him time to prepare. As a result, Rean lost his first battle piloting Valimar, perhaps fatally.]
3/4 I lied and sorry for the freaking novel omg exposition stick shut UP,
Date: 2019-05-07 11:20 pm (UTC)I understand, wanting to keep someone safe. More than anything else... I want to know that Rean's okay. I want to be able to say I'm sorry, at least, for everything that's happened.
And then there's the matter of my duty. We need him to pilot Valimar. We need him to work with us to avert an even greater crisis than what we already face. If I've failed him... I don't know what will become of my world.
[Her voice is shaking as she talks. It's the first time she's actually been up front with all of this to anyone but Celine, and, well... Celine's been the one driving her the whole time.]
If it were just up to me? I'd take that chance in a heartbeat. But I know if I put that blood on Rean's hands... he might keep forcing himself forward for the world's sake, but he'd never be Rean again.
And if I think about it the other way... "would I let him do that for me?"
...I know my answer is no. Not in a million years, not even for the world. I... I care too much about him to let him go through with it. And with the way he is for all of us... even if I'm a rotten liar, I know it'd go both ways.
If that isn't true for you and Simon, then I suppose that isn't true and that's all there is to that. Even so...
4/4
Date: 2019-05-07 11:22 pm (UTC)You... you remind me of him, in some ways. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I don't want to see you fall like this.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-07 11:56 pm (UTC)Arthur drops himself so he's sitting on the floor. If only all his reasons we're selfless...]
I just.... I owe Simon everything. Wh-What if I go back, and there's just a crater? And fire, and-- and people smell awful when they burn. I don't wanna be alone!
[He doesn't remember the last time he was this close to crying.]
no subject
Date: 2019-05-08 12:13 am (UTC)...Have faith, Arthur. I know it's a lot to ask. I'm scared senseless, too... but it's all we can do to keep believing.
If we don't, we just give them exactly what they want.
A-and, I know it's not a lot, I know it can't even put a dent in anything else. But right here, right now...
[She holds out a hand to offer it to him.]
You aren't alone.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-08 01:01 am (UTC)[You're not alone.
He wonders if this is how Frederica felt, every time the guild insisted on supporting her. He doesn't know. She was always do distant, and now she's...
...he won't take the same path. Which means believing in everyone here. If he really isn't alone, if this group is going to sorta-kinda be his new guild, then he'll accept that.]
....if Gungnir fires, if Etria is destroyed, it won't be the first time. It won't be the last, either. It isn't the only Gungnir.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-08 01:46 am (UTC)[And for now, he has her, at least. For as much help as this novice waterboarder of a witch may be.
...Ah, he's continuing, though. She bites at her lip. It's... really not far from what she knows herself, is it? Fudge the details a little, and it's the Great Collapse. A repeating cycle, all the same.]
...And I believe in your world, too. In your Etria. Even if you can't, I'm going to hold out hope for you.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-08 02:26 am (UTC)I don't have any family, you know? Just Simon. ...I, uh, don't remember anything past ten years ago. Simon says those memories are probably gone for good.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-08 02:53 am (UTC)Some kind of traumatic event?
Mm... I understand that, too, though. I lost my parents early, so Grandmother took me in. She raised me alongside her student, Vita, and Celine, who became my familiar.
Then Vita did something the clan deemed unforgivable, and she left. And then I was sent to Thors with Celine to guide Rean... and now, Celine is gone too.
[She smiles a little, sadly. She's confiding, too.]
So, really... I don't know what to do on my own, either, you know? I'm just... fumbling, repeating what I know from home. Hoping something will stick, and I can be useful somehow.
It's hard, isn't it? Feeling lost like this.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-08 03:24 am (UTC)The very first thing I can remember is fire. The second is Simon saving me.
An unprecedented and unexplained disaster utterly leveled a mining town called Gotham at the foot of Yggdrasil overnight. The two of us were the only survivors. Rumor has it, the pit where that Yggdrasil's Labyrinth was is still burning, and no plants grow for miles and miles around it.
[He doesn't talk about his history a whole lot - it's not that he's hiding it or that it particularly bothers him, he's moved on for the most part. But now it's relevant.]
We made our way to the Midgard Library after that. Grew up and studied there, and became investigators... Simon and me were always together.
It's been pretty hard, without him. Usually I just follow him around and let him make the decisions.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-08 03:41 am (UTC)But I am glad you got out, and that you've had one another up until now.
Celine's usually been the decision-maker, between the two of us. She's my familiar, but... she's always taken care of me, rather than the other way around. Without her, now...
It's sad. [She moves her hand over into her hair, twirling a lock of it around her finger nervously.] I could tell you anything I've ever read in a book, I could help you study for any test under the sun... but when it comes to things like this, I feel like I know nothing at all.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-08 04:35 am (UTC)[Everything is connected. That's why this is so very personal. Arthur has seen first-hand what Gungnir can do.]
What's a familiar, anyway? It sounds like more than just a black cat, like in stories.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-08 12:11 pm (UTC)[So it's like the Railway Guns, or whatever happened to Garrelia, if not worse...
Emma swallows hard. That just makes the whole thing that much more chilling.]
No wonder you feel even more strongly about it... I'm sorry. I really wish I knew what else to say in times like this...
[Unfortunately, witches aren't highly trained in empathy. Emma's a bit of an outlier, and she's trying, but... oof, man. Yikes.]
Well... she is a black cat, although not every familiar is so cliche. [A little smile. She knows, at least?] But she can speak, and she's got some magic of her own – mostly to bolster mine, although she can act on her own in at least some capacity.
She has a deeper knowledge of the legends behind our duty than even I do, though.