I understand, wanting to keep someone safe. More than anything else... I want to know that Rean's okay. I want to be able to say I'm sorry, at least, for everything that's happened.
And then there's the matter of my duty. We need him to pilot Valimar. We need him to work with us to avert an even greater crisis than what we already face. If I've failed him... I don't know what will become of my world.
[Her voice is shaking as she talks. It's the first time she's actually been up front with all of this to anyone but Celine, and, well... Celine's been the one driving her the whole time.]
If it were just up to me? I'd take that chance in a heartbeat. But I know if I put that blood on Rean's hands... he might keep forcing himself forward for the world's sake, but he'd never be Rean again.
And if I think about it the other way... "would I let him do that for me?"
...I know my answer is no. Not in a million years, not even for the world. I... I care too much about him to let him go through with it. And with the way he is for all of us... even if I'm a rotten liar, I know it'd go both ways.
If that isn't true for you and Simon, then I suppose that isn't true and that's all there is to that. Even so...
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timeasmymeasure
3/4 I lied and sorry for the freaking novel omg exposition stick shut UP,
Date: 2019-05-07 11:20 pm (UTC)I understand, wanting to keep someone safe. More than anything else... I want to know that Rean's okay. I want to be able to say I'm sorry, at least, for everything that's happened.
And then there's the matter of my duty. We need him to pilot Valimar. We need him to work with us to avert an even greater crisis than what we already face. If I've failed him... I don't know what will become of my world.
[Her voice is shaking as she talks. It's the first time she's actually been up front with all of this to anyone but Celine, and, well... Celine's been the one driving her the whole time.]
If it were just up to me? I'd take that chance in a heartbeat. But I know if I put that blood on Rean's hands... he might keep forcing himself forward for the world's sake, but he'd never be Rean again.
And if I think about it the other way... "would I let him do that for me?"
...I know my answer is no. Not in a million years, not even for the world. I... I care too much about him to let him go through with it. And with the way he is for all of us... even if I'm a rotten liar, I know it'd go both ways.
If that isn't true for you and Simon, then I suppose that isn't true and that's all there is to that. Even so...